nevertheless... (cont.)

Is having objectives is so important in our life? Could a normal person live without objective or any goal? This are the questions which were sometimes disturbing X. If it is true and you have to have a goal, it means that X is supposed to find one or to invent, cause in his early twenty he hadn’t find yet any dream any desire, or as some people say, any objective. Everyday he finds pros and contras, everyday he tries to find his dream-target, his goal. Sometimes he even was trying to imagine himself as a well succeeded person, sometimes a looser. Anyway, any victory has its own price. How many X feels free to offer he doesn’t know, it seems he hadn’t a lot of time thinking about this. But he was sure that there is no easy victory. May be it is genetic or may be it is just social influence, nevertheless, since two years old X new, that you have always to pay for your dinner. The only thing that he was confused is how and when he has to pay….

When you look forward you are always expect to see something, but sometimes you are trying too hard and that leads you to blindness. The desire to see something is so big that it overrides all other feelings. How it happens, I guess, nobody knows, but I’m sure that every person at least once in a life time feels that feelings….

Have you ever get up alone in the room… and everything is so familiar for you that you even don’t notice it. Such thing has happened to X. I guess it was the first time X felt so alone and useless. It seems nobody was carrying about him, nobody wanted him. It was strange to feel it for the first time, a little bit unusual and “bitter”. In spite of the feeling that was overwhelming, X manages to understand, that it is a wonderful day outside – it is spring. X likes springs a lot, may be because X was born in spring, may be because it was the beginning of nature cycle, nobody knows, even the X doesn’t no for sure were this love comes from.